Abigail,
Daughter, friend, creative, dreamer,
Sister to Naomi,
Loves books, dancing, and working with kids,
Who feels happy, nervous and shy,
Who fears spiders, being embarrassed and not getting things done on time,
Who needs chocolate, my IPad and sleep,
Who gives her family hugs, her parents pride and her friends cheerful smiles,
Would like to see Michael McIntyer live, do well in exams and travel to many places,
Who shares her advice to problems, her charm and if she has any sweets on her,
Who is a girl guide, a Christian and a student,
Resident of a hous in a nice neighbourhood,
Trueman
Nicely done Abbie. I like the way you captured the essence of you in so few words - exactly what poets have to do. There is a very definite style to this piece although I have a couple of points for you to consider: perhaps the Michael McIntyre sentence should begin with 'who' - just to keep the same pattern throughout that section; I would put creative dreamer together, rather than separating with a comma; and I would explore different lexical choices for 'nice'. However, that's just me - I still liked it!Well done.
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